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40 free and single

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JaneSingle спросил 15 часов назад

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Article about 40 free and single:
It could be for these 10 reasons – Hack Spirit
My passion in life is communication in all its many forms. I enjoy nothing more than deep chats about life, love and the Universe. With a masters degree in Journalism, I’m a former BBC news reporter and newsreader.
 
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But around 8 years ago I swapped the studio for a life on the open road. Lisbon, Portugal is currently where I call home. My personal development articles have featured in Huffington Post, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, Thrive Global and more. Still single at 40? It could be for these 10 reasons. It’s no secret that being single at 40 can feel much harder than being single at 30 or 20. It’s easy to worry that the older you get, the less likely you are to meet someone. You can wonder to yourself, why isn’t it happening for me when other people seem to have successfully found love and settled down. You may even start to panic that there is something wrong with you. But there are plenty of reasons why you would find yourself still single at 40, many of which are actually a good thing (no, really!) Here are 10 possible reasons why you’re still single and how to change it if you want to. 1 0 reasons why you’re still single at 40. 1) You have unrealistic expectations. Most of us carry some unrealistic expectations around love and romance. Blame the fairytales we grew up on and the Hollywood portrayal of love in the movies. We think that finding Mr or Mrs. Right should be effortless and that we should fall head over heels for our soulmate. But this just doesn’t happen in real life. This very idea of the “perfect match” or “the one” can be incredibly detrimental to your search for a fulfilling partnership. It neglects the fact that real love takes effort. Everything doesn’t magically fall into place as soon as you meet the “right” person. The less glamorous truth is that real-life relationships are a choice. You decide that you want this person in your life and you put in the work required to make it happen. If this sounds like a very unromantic assessment, it isn’t intended to be. It’s not that love isn’t powerful and enriching. It’s more to say that expecting too much out of love can set you up for failure from the start. If you expect fireworks, rom-com adventures, and ‘happily ever afters’ from your romantic encounters, you are ultimately setting yourself up for disappointment. The problem with fantasizing about your dream love is that any real human being is likely to measure up short. The solution: Try to be mindful of when you are letting pickiness get in the way of creating genuine connections. Ditch the unrealistic checklist or the image you have crafted of the perfect partner. Instead, focus on the core fundamentals which really matter to you. Do you share the same values? Do you want the same things? These are far more important than shallow or surface things you think you are looking for. Work out what matters most to you, and what is less significant. Recognize that love and relationships will always involve some compromise. Being too picky or judgemental is going to push people away. Nobody is perfect, so don’t expect it of anybody. 2) You’re stuck in a rut. Is it hard to find love after 40? Absolutely not, but at the same time, it can feel trickier if lifestyle factors are at play. It’s sometimes the case that the older we get, the more fixed into a certain routine or way of doing things we become. It might be that you are feeling more isolated at 40 than you felt at 20. Your daily routine may be way more stable. You may become less prepared to change the older you get. This can all contribute to making it harder to meet someone new. I saw a funny meme that summed this up perfectly: “Single at 25: I have to go out and meet someone. Single at 40: If it’s meant to be, the right person will find me in my home.” I found this pretty hilarious and also felt pretty called out too. There isn’t a recipe for love, and it can strike at any time, place, and age. But unless you’re planning on falling for your takeaway delivery driver, then you probably have to make sure you’re still putting yourself into situations that help you to meet someone new. Going to the same job you’ve worked at for years, coming home, and not doing much else can create a rut in your life that keeps you single, even when you want to meet someone. The solution: To break free of these habits, you need to take stock of where you are now. What are the things that could be holding you back? What do you feel stagnant about? Is there something you could let go of that would help you move forward? Or something you could introduce into your life to shake up your routine a little? Take some time to reflect on how you spend your day. Are you spending too much time alone? Are you sticking to the same old routine day in and day out? If so, it could be time to shake things up a little. Try something new. That could be joining a gym, starting a new hobby, taking a course, making more of an effort to socialize, and putting yourself out there. It’s less about hanging out in bars in the hope of meeting someone (although that can work too). But it’s more about being prepared to embrace some change that will clear out any stagnant energy that could be holding you back. 3) You won’t settle for less than you deserve. Like I said in the intro, there are reasons why being single at 40 is a really good sign. Far from it meaning there is something wrong with you, it can reflect the absolute opposite.

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