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This advice from other women who have been through it can help you make sense of everything and move on. Advice For Newly Divorced Women. Being a newly divorced woman isn’t easy, but it’s a journey that we must all go through when our marriage ends.
 
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It helps to talk to others who have been there and done that” to get their perspective. Since not everyone has that shoulder to lean on, we’ve gathered the best advice from other women who have been in your shoes. We received a lot of inspiring advice on moving forward after divorce in our book give away contest. To qualify for the contest, readers were asked to give their best advice for newly divorced women. Thanks to their great feedback, five lucky entrants received a free copy of the book How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed (#Ad), a true story about a woman starting over after a divorce. Even though we could only pick five winners, all the entrants offered excellent words of wisdom. In the spirit of “Passing it On”, we’ve decided to share their inspiration and insight to make the journey easier for other newly divorced women. Read on for tips on taking care of yourself, getting support, moving forward, and more. Here are some of the different topics offering advice that you can find below. Simply click on the link to be taken to that section. Taking Care of Yourself. I am a newly divorced woman (2 weeks now) but have had 4 years time living separately as he moved to another state after we sold our house (to prevent foreclosure). During this time, we kept the lines of communication open and behaved like a family unit (3 kids now 12, 10 and 8) every summer and winter. We were both stalling the divorce and unable to reconcile. So what advice would you give to a woman who’s newly divorced? Try to come to terms with the very real fact that your nuclear family will never be the same. Once he started his affairs (just last summer), these visits wreaked havoc on my emotional state. I could not face my own fear of divorce. During this time of separation, I also renewed a lost love of mine who was divorced himself. Advice: Do not start a new relationship at all until you have healed inside. You will not be emotionally ready and cannot give 100% to the relationship anyway. This lost love got so fed up with me that we “broke up” even though I was not legally single. Needless to say, I suffered twice the pain. Do seek out a church/God/Spiritual Enlightenment. I trust that God has a plan for me and I feared Him because I married in His Church. Confide in 1-2 trusted friends. Most friends are supportive but keep the details to a bare minimum. Most people are so busy that I find a summary works best. That goes for family too. Engage in an activity/hobby/support group that will keep you busy and distracted. In my case, I am actively job-hunting and doing informational interviews because I have been a stay at home mom for a decade while he advanced his career. If you have kids, you must go on and be the best mother to them. Show them who you are/were when you were young like sharing old albums/videos, things you enjoy/used to enjoy, activities that you used to do before you were married. A great way to empower yourself is to take a short trip with just you and your kids. It may be the first time without him. Plan it and show yourself that you can still travel and do these kinds of things on your own. Most of all, know that it takes time to rebuild your life. Think of it like when you graduated HS/College and the future was unknown back then. YOU will create a path again that is right for you. ~Janice~ As painful as it seems, time is a healer. Don’t rush into relationships. It’s hard if you’re not mentally there and it’s not fair on the other person. Every person is different. It might be take two years and you’re ready. It might take five or perhaps never. And that’s ok. Live for yourself. Spend time with family, as long as they don’t drain you with negativity. Don’t spend time with negative people. Enjoy your own company. Work on improving yourself. Organize trips on your own, go abroad or have a holiday on your own. You’re beautiful. You’re brave. You’re strong. Never settle for anyone less. Make sure you value yourself. ~ Jess. I’m not sure what advice to give, pray, stay busy, if you have a job, be grateful for that and try to work at it each day. Keep the friends that are true to you and don’t judge you. Make a life for yourself that you will like and enjoy. Know that some days are much harder than others. Know that just because someone stops loving you, you may not automatically stop loving them. It doesn’t work that way. Find a way to use that love to set yourself free of them. Give them to the universe. Revenge thoughts are not good for you, put that energy into good thoughts for yourself. God, Karma and the universe will take care of you if you allow it and the person who decided to set you free. ~ Brenda. Realize that no matter WHAT he said, if he put you down, and robbed you of your self-confidence…it wasn’t your fault ~~~ It really does take 2 to tango! I found changing the home how I liked it (he was a hoarder, I have OCD!), de-cluttering, and cleaning thoroughly made me feel better on a bad day… I guess it was “therapeutic”, even though I was exhausted! LOL… And, the results made me feel really good (after all, if you’re depressed and living in chaos, it only makes the situation worse). A warm, clean, and cozy home is comforting when you feel those familiar doubts about yourself. When you feel like anything but being social, make the effort, if only once in a while. I felt so many times like hiding away. But I started to see I actually was enjoying the “fun” with family and friends I dreaded! Most of all. know life has NOT ended (even if that’s how you feel). SING at the top of your lungs, dance when and wherever you want, LAUGH often, CRY as you need to, and Enjoy what LOVE you do still have around you! Good luck! ~Sarah~ What advice would you give to a woman who’s newly divorced? I would tell that angel to never ever view herself as a failure. She has to wake up, take a deep breath and to never let anything bring her down. Single isn’t a status. But it’s a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. Again God uses broken things beautifully, broken clouds pour rain, broken soil sets as fields, and broken seeds give life to new plants. So my friend, allow yourself to hope, to believe and to trust again. Don’t let few bad memories stop you from having a good life. ~Sarah~ I am 63 and divorced. The hardest thing for me was repairing my self-esteem. I cut my hair, colored the gray he wanted me to keep, got rid of the bedroom set, threw out all the old cards and letters, gave all the photos of him to my grown children and rearranged the house and closet to suit me! As scary as it is to be alone financially, emotionally it is freeing. I am planning a special trip, visiting with family and friends and had “sleep-overs” with my grandchildren we never had before. The hardest thing to do is to keep focused on what YOU want, and to avoid the “if only’s”. I suggest writing yourself a letter saying all the things you like about yourself and your strong points. READ it often!

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